do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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