we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
