you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
