i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Randomize
