I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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