went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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