No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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