i permit you to call me
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
