omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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