i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
