Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
There r osticjed everywhere
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
