If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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