Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Randomize
