i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Randomize
