Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
