You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
