About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
