Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He shit in the fireplace
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
