I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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