her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
