By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
