The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
He told me they were just razor bumps!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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