Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
