omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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