he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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