your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
