so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I love having hate sex.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
