On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
