Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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