around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
