Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I think my vagina is haunted
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Randomize
