good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
