even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm determined to sit on that face.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
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