I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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