My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
