i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
