Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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