obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
