I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
