You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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