Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
