did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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