just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
