He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
