tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Do vagina's smell?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
