He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
