I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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