I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
