No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
