My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
