if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Still dying that you shit outside
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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