Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
